Prepare for a Healthy Relationship While Single

Like many others, I've been deeply in love but my heart was broken twice. And after losing myself in relationships where I gave too much without receiving the love and respect I deserved, I’ve had to rebuild my sense of self from the ground up.

Now, as I've navigated singlehood, I found myself in a place of growth and self-awareness. I know what I want and I’ve worked hard to heal. But the fear still lingers — what if I fall deeply in love again, only to be disappointed once more? What if I forget everything I’ve learned and lose myself again? The truth is, I won’t know for sure until I step into a relationship. But that doesn’t mean I can’t prepare myself for love in a way that ensures I stay true to myself.

Here are some of the things I've worked on and will continue to focus on and you can too:

1. Clarify Your Non-Negotiables

• Write down what healthy love looks like for you. What behaviors make you feel safe, respected, and valued? Not what you see on social media but truly what matters to you. This can be difficult when you haven't been around healthy love but surrounding yourself around couples who are in healhty relationships helps.

• Define your deal-breakers based on past experiences. This will help you recognize red flags sooner.

  
  

2. Strengthen Your Self-Trust

• Practice listening to your gut in everyday situations. The more you trust yourself in small decisions, the easier it’ll be in relationships.

• Remind yourself that if something feels off, it probably is. Trust that you won’t ignore red flags again.

  
  

3. Stay Grounded in Your Own Life

• Keep doing the things that make you feel fulfilled outside of a relationship—your career, art, travel goals, and friendships.

• Make sure that when someone enters your life, they’re adding to it, not becoming the center of it.

  
  

4. Practice Emotional Regulation

• If a situation triggers old emotions (abandonment, betrayal, insecurity), practice sitting with them instead of reacting immediately.

• Try journaling about past relationships and noting where you gave too much or ignored your needs. What would you do differently now?

  
  

5. Date With Intention (When You’re Ready)

• When you start dating again, take your time. Observe how someone shows up over time rather than getting swept up in early excitement.

• Don’t be afraid to walk away if something doesn’t align with what you need.

  
  

Honestly, I know I’ve come a long way. I trust myself more now than I ever have before. But self-work doesn’t stop when love enters the picture — it’s an ongoing practice. And while I can’t control whether or not I get hurt again, I can control how I show up for myself and others. I can stay grounded, trust my intuition, and ensure that I never lose myself in love again.

If you’re in a similar place — healing, growing and wondering if you’re truly ready for love —know that you’re not alone. The work you’re doing now is shaping you for the love you truly deserve. Stay patient, stay intentional, and above all, stay true to yourself.